I drive away from school for the last time in who knows how long. It feels really, really strange. The drive feels like a blur of a memory even as it happens.
I park outside my house and I do not move. I often just kind of sit in my car for awhile after work before I go inside. It is nice to just be still and clear my head before I get in the house. I find that when I need to do this and don't, I end up sitting on my couch for far too long. But today is different. Today I feel like I can't get up; like it's not real to get up. So I don't. For an hour. I don't look at my phone, there's no radio, nothing. Just nothing.
When I get inside I start this blog. Before I know it it has been two hours and I have not gotten through Wednesday. But my head feels better.
I text Max and tell him my plan for the evening. Yoga, shower, eat & TV, and pack an ample amount to come stay with him. I usually stay with him on the weekends and breaks from school, but this is an unexpected, much longer break.
I've gotten to the eat phase of my plan and Max hasn't responded. I am a little worried that maybe he doesn't want me to be in Ann Arbor with him for the whole quarantine.... or doesn't want me to bring my germs. He does have two roommates. I give him a bump and he says enthusiastically agrees and says they have some buddies over now. I feel weird that he has buddies over. I feel weird that that feels weird.
A little over an hour later I am on the road. I had to make three trips to my car to pack everything up. I packed lots of clothes, instruments, games, and all the food I had in my house. I put on my Harry Potter audiobook. It's my go-to to reset on the 50 minute biweekly drive. I'm at the part where Harry and Dumbledore go to the cave in the 6th book. I drive away.
At Max's house I find a lively scene with the three residents and two guests finishing up their jam. They are all jazz musicians. This is their life.
I start getting all my stuff unpacked and Max joins me and tells me someone who goes to the same gym that he goes to daily has tested positive for Covid-19. My heart skips a beat. He went to the gym on the same day as him. I sit down on the bed and Max sits right next to me. "But we weren't there at the same time. I went after him." Not great, I think. "He went to the pool and the men's locker room, and I was nowhere near that part of gym." I think he can tell he freaked me out a little.
We have a real talk about what this whole thing could mean. He decides to stay away from people for a bit. I tell him I'll cover the utilities for him and his roommates while I am here. They might be about to lose work. We decide to be more cautious about going out. I'm worried about them losing income. I encourage Max to start looking at other jobs he can do from home. We don't know how long this is going to last. Nobody does. None of his gigs have been canceled yet, he assures me. I ask him to promise to look into other options the moment his first gig is canceled. He promises to look before then. We have no idea what will happen, but we might as well be in it together.
The night continues like any other night. Games of cards are played. News alerts popping up on our phones of more thinks being canceled. Albums being played. The president is saying stupid things. Drinks are drunk.
I have been awake for about 18 hours and am ready to collapse. As we go to bed I think of how weird the day felt. Even the parts that were normal felt like they should not have been.